Mister Mxyzptlk's Eclectic Enterprise
by Rowena Zahnrei
Summary: After losing yet again to Superman, the 5th Dimensional imp Mister Mxyzptlk finds himself stuck at home and going stir crazy...until a visit to the library introduces him to a whole new universe and a new group of 3rd Dimensional beings to play with. Bedeviled by the extradimensional entity's pranks, can the Enterprise crew outwit Mr Mxyzptlk and send him back to the 5th Dimension?
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own _Star Trek: The Next Generation_, _Superman: The Animated Series_, or any of the other characters, shows, comics, books, etc. referenced in this story. All I own is my imagination…though sometimes I wonder if my imagination owns me. Please don't sue me or steal my very strange story. Thanks!

NOTE: Hi everyone! It's April Fools' Day again, and I've had a crazy idea. I wasn't sure if I should write it out or keep the weirdness locked in my head, but I decided to go for it and see what happens. Hope you enjoy my story! :D

* * *

**Mister Mxyzptlk's Eclectic Enterprise**

An April Fools' Day Fic by Rowena Zahnrei

**Introduction**

"I'm going crazy over here!" Mr Mxyzptlk shouted and waved his arms, stomping up into the air and over the red velvet sofa where a slender young woman in tight, trendy clothes lay on her back with her ankle crossed over her knee, comfortably flipping through a colorful magazine. "Look at me, Gizpy!" he ranted. "I'm tearing my hair out, I'm so bored!"

Bringing his hands to the sides of his bulb-like head, the little imp did literally that, scattering tufts of fluffy white hair that disappeared before they hit the soft, plush carpet.

Ms Gzptlsnz finished with one page and languidly turned to the next. The figures in the photographs seemed to be moving, the faces, fashions and backgrounds shifting as she scanned the text between them.

"You're the one who set the rules this time, Mxy," she reminded her partner, never taking her eyes from her reading. "You told Superman you wouldn't return here unless he got you to paint his portrait in reverse, and he tricked you into doing just that. Those lower-dimensional life forms can be pretty sharp."

"Grr…" Mxyzptlk clenched his fists.

"How is Superman, by the way?" Gzptlsnz inquired conversationally as she turned another page. "And his adorable pal Jimmy Olsen! I haven't seen him in a while."

"Uh uh," the little imp grunted, crossing his arms over his dapper purple suit before sinking down to pace in circles around and around the coffee table. "I'm done fooling with them. Ninety-day probation, remember? That was the deal. Ninety of _our _days, mind you, not those puny planetary spins that go by in a blink. Here it is, Day One, and already I'm bored out of my skull! What am I going to _do_!"

Gzptlsnz raised an eyebrow. Slowly, she closed her magazine and sat up. Brushing her curtain of bright red hair behind her ear, she fixed the pacing imp with a fondly amused gaze.

"Well," she said, her voice laced with suggestive warmth. "I could recommend a few—"

"I know!" Mxyzptlk shouted, rising triumphantly into the air. "Ol' Supes and his precious Planet pals aren't the only beings to scurry through the 3rd Dimension! There are more rats in this maze – and more mazes stuffed with rats!" He marched out of the room and up and down a twisting, curling corridor, calling, "Hey, Gizpy! I'll be in the library! Maybe for a couple weeks!"

Gzptlsnz pinched her lips together, then shrugged and lay back again with her magazine, preferring to manipulate probabilities and potential timelines with her imagination than physically involve herself in the lives of lower-dimensional beings.

Mxyzptlk, meanwhile, strode into a vast, multi-tiered space stacked to the brim with color-coded bricks and blocks and slabs of data.

"I'm in the mood for something different," he said as he perused the shelves, floating and bobbing, zipping and teleporting from level to level, subject to subject, until he landed on something that caught his fancy – a numbered, silvery set of what, to the untrained eye, looked a lot like DVDs. That same eye would have seen a long line of paperbacks and comic books neatly arranged along the shelf beside those DVDs, along with a tangential, glowing link labeled 'Fanfiction'. But, Mr Mxyzptlik could see much more.

"_Marvel_ous!" he cried, flipping gleefully through book after book, disk after disk. "Supes and his gang are in an entirely _D_ifferent _C_ontinuum to these beings! No, no, wait... Looks like there's been some crossover here and there. And there. And, what's all this?"

He squinted and frowned, peering more closely at the individual pages.

"So…some other higher dimensional entity's been here first, eh? Look at this - the guy's scribbled all over the margins! Highlighter marks, underlines in pen – how am I expected to read this!"

He tossed the volume over his shoulder, where it landed in the exact space he'd taken it from.

"Oh, whatever. Some inconsiderate oaf may have marked up the source material, but his interests are not _Paramount. _Not when I've got ninety days of mind-melting boredom in front of me! I'll just go where he went and find out for myself what kind of amusements the 3rd Dimension of this universe can offer a 5th Dimensional imp like me!"

He plucked one of the silvery DVD boxes from the shelf at random and opened it wide, a truly wicked smile spreading over his face. Cackling gleefully, the mischievous imp pressed his hands together in a classic diving pose and jumped right in, shouting, "Starship _Enterprise_, here I come!"

_To Be Continued..._

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_References Include - Superman: The Animated Series, __Mxyzpixilated; __Jimmy Olsen_ #52 (April 1964).

I'd keep writing if I didn't have to go do more work but I do have to go do more work so I guess this story will have to have chapters. Oh yeah, and I should find some lunch. I totally forgot to eat lunch...

What do you think so far? Please review! :D


	2. Part I

Part I

Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge strode into Ten Forward and scanned his VISOR over the early morning breakfast crowd. Unless he took the time to concentrate on facial features, most of the officers, crew, and family members sitting at the glowing tables looked like dull silhouettes overlaid with washes of color that indicated shifts in body temperature, among other readings. But, one figure stood out in a way only Geordi could see.

"Data," he called and smiled, raising his hand in a wave as he homed in on the golden electromagnetic aura that surrounded his android friend. Data's 'halo', Geordi called it. "How was the night shift?"

Apart from crew training rotations, which he also oversaw, the ship's tireless second officer spent most of his nights commanding the bridge.

Data opened his mouth to answer, then paused and narrowed his gaze.

"Do you wish me to provide a detailed account," he asked, "Or is your true intent merely to open conversation with an innocuous comment?"

"Option Two," Geordi told him.

"Then the night shift was 'just fine'." Data pronounced the words with care, like a traveler attempting a foreign language.

"Well that's great," Geordi said, his smile broadening as he sat down. Data really had come a long way in the nearly four years since the _Enterprise-D_'s first mission. The android officer was getting better at informal social interaction by the day, and Geordi liked to think he'd had a hand in his friend's progress.

"I took the liberty of ordering your preferred morning beverage in anticipation of your arrival," Data said, indicating the steaming coffee mug sitting between them on the table. "I hope you do not mind."

"No, that's really thoughtful," Geordi said, lifting the mug taking a long whiff of the warm, toasty fumes. "Thanks, pal."

"No thanks are necessary," Data assured him. "Pal."

Geordi laughed and took a sip, the intense, focused look Data was giving him not quite registering until after he'd swallowed.

And his mouth and throat immediately caught fire.

"Gah!" he exclaimed, fanning his tongue and sucking in quick, cooling breaths of air. "Water! I need some water!"

"I believe milk may be more effective in this instance," Data suggested, pouring out a glass from the small jug he had ready. "Milk contains casein, which will bind with the capsaicin oil currently stimulating the heat-detecting neural sensors on your tongue and—"

"OK, fine, just give me the milk!" Geordi exclaimed, and Data willingly handed it over, tilting his head in fascination as he watched the suffering human chug it down.

"Was the casein effective, Geordi?" he inquired.

Geordi sighed and ran a hand over his short hair before turning an irritated, baffled look on his friend.

"What the hell was that, Data?" he demanded. "Did you spike my coffee with hot sauce?"

"It was not 'hot sauce,' per se," the android clarified. "'Hot sauce' usually implies a blended condiment including vinegar and spices as well as chilies. I 'spiked' your coffee with three drops of non-extract capsaicin made from refined capsaicin powder in order to add heat without altering the flavor profile of your beverage."

Geordi stared at him. "Why?"

Data blinked his yellow eyes.

"Because, according to Earth's seasonal calendar, today is first of April," he said. "Colloquially known as—"

"April Fools' Day!" Geordi realized. "Of course!" He shook his head and snorted. He still felt annoyed, but it was tempered now with amusement – even pride in his friend for showing the initiative and creativity to pull the prank in the first place. "Actually, that wasn't a bad trick. Just, don't try anything like that on the captain, OK? Or…well, anyone else for that matter."

"If you say, Geordi," Data acknowledged. "Then, you would deem my April Fools' prank a success?"

"Yeah," Geordi said. "I sure didn't see it coming. But, Data—"

"Riker to all senior staff," the first officer's voice sounded through their combadges. "Please report to the bridge."

Geordi sighed a little, and gave his friend a wry smile. "To be continued?" he said.

"Certainly, Geordi," the android acknowledged. Geordi grabbed his spiked coffee, Data took the empty milk glass and jug, and the two officers headed toward the crowded bar, when Geordi paused and nudged his friend's arm.

"Give me a second," he said, and made his way over to a young ensign he'd spotted sitting on a stool, eating breakfast and looking over a data padd.

"Hey, Wes," he greeted.

"Oh hi, Geordi," Crusher greeted back. "Something I can do for you?"

"Nah, thanks," Geordi said. "Data and I just got called to the bridge. You're welcome to my coffee if you want it. I didn't get a chance to touch it."

"Sure, OK," the young man said, and Geordi set the spiked mug down beside the ensign's plate of scrambled eggs. "Thanks."

"See you later in Engineering?" Geordi said.

"I'll be there," Crusher assured him, and Geordi headed out, giving the young man a clap on the back.

Data regarded his friend curiously.

"Geordi," he said. "Why did you—"

"It's April Fools' Day, right?" Geordi smirked. "Consider this paying it forward."

"Hm." Data jutted his lip and raised his eyebrows, the double doors closing behind the two friends just as Wesley Crusher's epic spit-take drenched the crowded bar in a shower of spittle-laced coffee.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

_References Include: Menage a Troi; Night Terrors; Data's Day; Heart of Glory._

_Hi! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! _Croaked _is next in line for an update, but I'll be adding more to this story soon. Stay tuned and thanks for reading! :D_


	3. Part II

Part II

Captain Picard strode from the upper bridge into the adjacent Observation Lounge, pausing for just a moment to admire the ancient artifact he'd placed on the conference table. The curved table's polished sheen reflected the viewport windows, making it seem as if the little statue was standing on a bed of stars.

"Well, Number One," he said, his cultured voice rich with quiet pride as he joined his first officer by the windows. "What do you think?"

"I think the ancient Ujjaerians must have been a very attractive people," Commander Riker replied, moving closer to the delicate piece. The statue had a highly textured rainbow sheen, as if bismuth crystals had grown into the shape of a dancing woman with four arms. Viewing the piece was like seeing a moment of serene motion captured in time, her large eyes closed, her antennae relaxed, her diaphanous gown seeming to blend with her long hair and wide insect-like wings. "She seems almost…faerie-like. The metal of her wings and gown is so thin, it's almost translucent."

"It is a singularly beautiful piece," Picard agreed. "And exceptionally rare. As you know, very little evidence of the Ujjaerian culture survived the asteroid's impact. What we do know of them – the very fact of their existence – has had to be painstakingly pieced together from the remaining fragments of their shattered home moon, many of which are now scattered across the quadrant. This statue, for example, was found on a piece of debris several systems away from the epicenter of the explosion."

"It must have been drifting for millennia," Riker said with some wonder. "It's sure to be the showpiece of the Archaeology Council's annual symposium."

"Well," Picard said grimly, "after Q's unwelcome interference last year, I'm hoping the Council will let me—"

The doors slid open and the two officers looked up to see the rest of the ship's senior staff file in for the meeting. Geordi and Data sat together while Counselor Troi took a seat beside Riker. Dr. Crusher and Lt. Worf sat facing each other, while Picard took his place at the head of the table watching their faces as they noticed the little statue.

"Welcome, everyone," Picard said once they were all settled. "I wanted to announce to you all myself that despite last year's…unexpected escapade in Q's version of Sherwood Forest, we have, in fact, been invited to participate in the Federation Archaeology Council's symposium again this year. The event will be held on Forcas Three in two weeks, which should allow plenty of time to complete our current mission to bring supplies and technical assistance to the Ezrik observation outpost, and pick up several leading scientists along the way. How long now until we reach Ezrik VIII?"

"We will reach orbiting distance within the next fourteen hours, sir," Data supplied.

Picard nodded his satisfaction, his stern features almost warming to a smile as he returned his gaze to the little statue shimmering like a rainbow under the Observation Lounge's dim lights.

"Very good," he said. "Now, if you'll indulge me for a moment before we get on to our usual morning business, I'm sure you've all been wondering about this lovely little artifact. This piece—"

"McGurk!"

The harsh call made the gathered officers jump, their eyes scanning the narrow room for the source of the unfamiliar voice.

"Hey, McGurk! I'm lookin' for ya over here! Where the heck did you go?"

Data blinked his golden eyes at his unsettled colleagues.

"Who is 'McGurk'?" he queried.

Worf rumbled low in his throat. "Captain," the Klingon security chief said. "We may have an intruder. With your permission—"

"Yo, _McGURK_!" the voice shouted again, loud enough to make everyone wince.

"Captain, if I may…?" Data said, narrowing his eyes at the artifact. "I believe these calls are emanating from—"

"The statue!" Troi gasped, pressing her hands to her temples. "I hear it, like a-a speaker or… Captain… I'm sensing a strong presence. Very close, very powerful."

"Could it be one of the Q?" Riker asked.

"I…I don't think so," the Betazoid counselor said, her eyes tightly closed as she fought to calm her breathing, focus her mind... "No…this is…something else…something different…"

"Could it be coming from the statue?" Crusher asked. "Could we possibly have triggered something…like a program or ancient mechanism that might explain—"

"_McGURK!_" the voice bellowed louder than ever, and Geordi furrowed his brow, his VISOR picking up a strange flicker at the periphery of his visual range. A flicker he followed, not to the statue, but toward the window…

"Captain!" he exclaimed, stumbling up from his chair to approach the viewports. "Look at this!"

Picard and his senior staff rushed to follow the engineer's gaze.

A little man in a dapper purple suit was zipping around outside the ship in a cherry-red flying saucer. Or, rather, a clownish caricature of one. The ship seemed comically small for a one-person craft, the man's torso and bulbus head shielded by a bubble-like dome just tall enough to accommodate his purple bowler hat.

"McGurk!" he shouted, his mouth moving inside the craft, but his harsh voice bursting from the statue behind them. "You know I'm gonna find you, McGurk, so come on out and show yourself already!"

"Mr. Data, what are we looking at?" Picard asked warily. "Could this be an illusion, or projection of some sort?"

"I would require more information before I could supply a conclusive answer, sir," the android replied. "After all, it is April Fools' Day. But, based solely on observation, I would say he appears to be quite real."

"April Fools' Day?" the captain repeated, wrinkling his nose. "Is that really relevant?

"I doubt this is a prank," Troi said. "I too believe that what we are seeing is real, Captain. Whoever, or whatever, this being may be… I believe he is the source of the power I sensed before."

"Sensed?" Riker frowned. "Has it faded?"

"I—" Troi began, only to blink against the force of her colleagues' surprise as the little man and his tiny red ship vanished with an odd, quivering 'pop'!

Muttering in confusion, the group started to return to their seats, only to stagger and sway when the ship gave a violent lurch. The lights flickered, then steadied, but the captain wasn't satisfied. With Picard leading the way, his senior staff headed to the bridge to take up their stations: La Forge and Dr. Crusher at the consoles on the upper bridge, Worf at the horseshoe-shaped security console; Picard, Riker and Troi at the center of the bridge, and Data in front at the ops station beside the ship's young navigator, Ensign Naff.

"Sensors are picking up no disturbances in the area, Captain," the android reported, scanning his eyes over multiple screens of speeding information. "And there are no sensor records of the craft we saw."

"Confirmed," Worf grunted, tapping at his own console as he conferred with security stations across the ship. "Reports indicate no record of any life signs, no sign of any residual ion trail." The Klingon scowled. "It is as if the creature was not there. Neither him, nor his ship."

"Then, what shook the _Enterprise_?" Picard demanded. "Mr. La Forge, Mr. Data, I want a full diagnostic on all ship's systems."

"Aye, sir," the two men acknowledged. Data quickly got up to join Geordi at the Engineering station, passing Lt. Adams as she came down to take the android's place at ops.

"Mr. Worf," he ordered, "I want a full security sweep."

"Aye," the Klingon said, already working.

"Counselor," he turned to Troi.

"I know, sir," she said. "Right now, I'm sensing nothing unusual. Still, I'll stay alert in case that should change."

"Very good," Picard said, observing his busy crew. "This may all be nothing. Merely a fluke apparition, with nothing to do with us. But, based on our experiences with Q, I'm not taking any chances." Striding across the bridge toward his office door, he called, "Number One, join me in my ready room. If that being does come back, I want this ship as prepared as possible."

_To Be Continued..._

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_References Include - TNG: Qpid, The Chase; Superman: The Animated Series - Mxyzpixilated.  
_

Thanks so much for reading. Your comments and reviews are always welcome! Please let me know what you think so far! :D


	4. Part III

Part III

Once the parameters of the diagnostic program had been set, there wasn't much to do except monitor the readout for anomalies and wait for the results. So, Geordi had delegated the tedious task to a couple of his diagnostic engineers while he and Data crawled into the system of Jefferies tubes that ran between the decks to check out the ship's sensors.

"Sensor efficiency reads at ninety-seven percent, Geordi," Data reported, crouched on his knees in the claustrophobic space with his tricorder in his hands.

Geordi crawled a little further down the tube and opened an access panel, setting the outer plate down on the gridded metal floor.

"Yeah, that's what the instruments say," the engineer said, grunting a little as he hunkered down low enough to peer inside the complicated arrangements of physical connections and isolinear chips that made up the primary 'brain' of the ship's main sensor array. "But I like to see what's going on for myself. Especially in cases like this."

"Cases like this?" Data repeated, and tilted his head. "Do you believe the being we saw from the Observation Lounge may, in some way, have tampered with our sensor readings?"

"I don't know," Geordi said. "I don't know what we saw out there. That's why I wanted to check the sensors themselves…not just rely on the readouts, you know…"

He grunted again, reaching deeper into the access shaft. "Hey Data, hand me a frasmotic inducer, will you?"

The android obligingly riffled through their little tool box and handed the instrument to his friend.

"Thanks," Geordi said, continuing his work as Data monitored the calibrations with his tricorder. "Say, Data," he said, his voice echoing a little from the other side of the wall. "I've been wondering. Where did you get the idea to pull an April Fools' prank like that in the first place? I thought you'd decided to shelve your study of humor for now and concentrate more on your poetry."

"I cannot take full credit, Geordi," Data said, never taking his eyes from the scrolling wave patterns and numbers on the tricorder's tiny screen. "The idea was prompted by a conversation I overheard as I was leaving bridge. Commander Riker and Lt. Worf were discussing their tolerance for spicy foods. It was the commander who suggested such a prank would be 'funny'. The scenario he described was hypothetical, but—"

"But you decided to test the theory and observe the results, is that it?" Geordi said.

"Yes, Geordi," Data said.

"So, why me?"

"Based on our past interactions, I believed you would be a 'good sport.' More than that…you are my 'best friend.' Are the bonds of friendship not strengthened by such games and pranks?"

Geordi snorted a little laugh.

"I suppose a few games and pranks now and then can help liven things up. But, I'm curious, Data. Have you ever pranked anyone before today?"

"I have," Data confirmed.

"Oh?" Geordi raised his eyebrows and backed out of the hole in the wall to regard his friend. "When was this?"

"It was at the academy," Data said as Geordi tapped at a glowing wall panel, making sure his visual examination matched up with the circuit maps and digital displays. "One of my advisors challenged me to devise an April Fools' prank with a specific set of parameters. I—"

A bright, feminine giggle echoed through the access tunnel. Data's head twitched, and Geordi frowned.

"What was that? Is someone up here?"

Data tapped at his tricorder. "I am reading no life signs in this Jefferies tube beyond our own," he reported.

Geordi started scrolling through the wall panel display again, and again they heard the giggle. A light, staticky _zap_ stung Geordi's hand, and he pulled away from the panel with a gasp.

"What the—!"

"Stop it!" the voice said, still giggling. "That tickles!"

Data's golden eyes widened, then narrowed sharply. "Geordi," he said. "That voice. I believe it was the _Enterprise_ computer."

"Impossible," Geordi said, and roughly clicked the wall panel back into place.

"Ow! Ow! Oh, that pinched!"

"All right, who's there," Geordi demanded, turning a full circle on his knees in the cramped tunnel.

"Geordi," Data said, placing a hand on his friend's arm to keep him still. "If I may test a hypothesis…?"

Geordi wrinkled his forehead over his VISOR, but watched as Data opened the access panel then replaced it with gentle precision - only to hear the giggle again.

"How considerate," said the voice. "That's much better."

The android raised his eyebrows, sharing a look with the increasingly unsettled engineer.

"Computer," he called out.

"Yes, I'm here," the voice responded, and Geordi swallowed.

"My god, Data, that is the computer's voice," he whispered.

"Well?" the computer voice prompted. "Do you have a request?"

"Not at this time," Data said. "Thank you, Computer."

"Any time, Commander," the computer voice replied warmly, and the two officers shared an even more deeply unsettled look.

"Let's get out of here," Geordi said, already crawling toward the ladder. "I don't know what that was or who's behind it, but we have to report this to the captain."

"Agreed," Data said, but he seemed preoccupied. Casting another thoughtful gaze around the narrow tube, he gave the wall panel a friendly stroke, as he would his pet cat, Spot, then picked up the tool box and crawled swiftly after his friend.

The computer voice sighed and giggled in delight. "What a nice little biped!"

* * *

Worf marched out of the turbolift and down the carpeted corridor flanked by two stern-faced security officers. One of the ship's civilians rushed to meet them, her round face flushed bright blue.

"Thank goodness you're here!" the Bolian woman said, hurrying to stand behind the armed officers.

"You reported an intruder," Worf said.

"Yes, yes. Down that way!" She pointed and gestured. "I have never seen him before, but he seems to be in distress. He keeps calling for—"

"McGURK!" came a familiar cry.

Worf set his jaw. "Return to your quarters," he instructed the Bolian, drawing his weapon as he brushed past. The other two officers followed suit, moving with cautious speed as they turned a corner.

A little man floated there, zipping up and down, back and forth, in the same cherry-red saucer he'd been flying outside the ship. When he spotted the Klingon, his ship vanished like a popped soap bubble, as if to emphasize that he didn't need it to fly around.

"Sheesh, I'm not here ten seconds and already they call the fuzz on me," he griped. "Hey, any of you guys seen McGurk?" Popping in startlingly close to Worf, he said, "Nice forehead. Molded silicone? Or did you crash your space bike into an asteroid?"

Worf bared his teeth in a snarl and grabbed for the little man, who playfully teleported some ten feet away.

"Who are you?" Worf demanded. "How did you come to be here?"

The little man yawned hugely, covering his wide mouth with his hand.

"Good grief! Do you humorless guard/protector-types take a course in Boring? No way I'm getting pulled into this tired game again."

"I do not play games with unauthorized intruders," the Klingon rumbled dangerously. "Identify yourself at once."

"They're always so bossy, too! But, I didn't come to this dimension just to get menaced and bullied by some other muscle-headed do-gooder." The little man scoffed. "Oh, no. Not this imp. I know! How about we change things up a bit, right now at the start!"

He snapped his fingers and Worf became a cassowary, his colorful head crowned by an oversized crest. Before his security officers could react, they found themselves transformed into a pair of fuzzy little kiwis, rolling around on the carpet.

"Oh dear, my mistake!" The little man feigned chagrin. "Let's try the bird, not the fruit!"

The rolling fruit wriggled and writhed, each one swelling, then sprouting brown fur-like feathers, legs, feet, and a long beak.

"That's better!" the little man praised, and floated past the bewildered birds, only just avoiding Worf's angry, snapping beak. "Hey, watch the suit! Now, let's see… There's gotta be lots more to a fancy spaceship like this than corridors and armed security officers."

Worf looked ready to give chase, so the little man apparated himself into a turbolift, shouting, "Hey, where can I find the boss of this tin can?"

"Captain Picard is on the main bridge," the computer supplied helpfully, and the little man smiled.

"Thanks, sweetheart. You're a doll," he said. Leaning back in the air, he pillowed his head on his hands and crossed his ankle comfortably over his knee. "Take me there!"

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_References Include - TNG: The Cost of Living; Superman: The Animated Series - Mxyzpixilated.  
_

Hope you liked this chapter. The weirdness is just beginning! Please review! :D


	5. Part IV

Part IV

Mr Mxyzptlk hovered near the bridge's ceiling and looked down at the softly glowing computer stations, wrinkling his nose and peering over the heads and shoulders of the busy officers he found there.

"Sheesh, this place is like a beehive," he muttered. "All this busywork, and for what? The ship practically runs itself. And, talk about Lower Decks! There's not a named cast member in the bunch. Where's the android who sits up front? Where's the hot alien mind reader and her bearded boyfriend? The captain's not even here!"

Mxyzptlk cupped his chin in a frustrated pout and floated up toward the observation dome, his mischievous mind churning.

"Funny thing about human beings. How they can be so oblivious to their own surroundings. Like how they haven't noticed me here! Seems they have this habit of looking down or straight ahead, but it's a rare one who tends to look up!"

The imp grinned wickedly and disappeared, leaving the bridge crew to gasp and flail as the artificial gravity cut out and their feet left the floor.

He reappeared in the adjacent Observation Lounge, where a delicate rainbow shimmer caught his eye: an ancient statue of a winged woman with four arms.

"McGurk?"

The little man popped onto the polished table to peer more closely at her face.

"Ooh, lookey what we have here!" he said. "You've been out in the cold for a long time, haven't you, darlin'. Well, don't you worry. Mxy's here to warm you up!" He rubbed his hands together, his flinty eyes gleaming. "C'mon, McGurk! Let's have some fun!"

* * *

"We still have to prepare for the scheduled crew rotation," Riker said, watching as Picard rose from his chair and headed for the corner replicator for a fresh cup of—

"Earl Grey," the captain ordered. "Hot."

The machine hummed and a swirl of golden sparkles quickly coalesced into his favorite fragrant tea. Carrying the cup and saucer back to his ready room desk, he said, "Yes, Number One. That is why I want all crew evaluations finished early and submitted by the time we arrive at the symposium."

"Understood, sir. The counselor and I will get right on it."

"Good." The captain took a slow sip of tea, then glanced at his first officer through the steam. "Then, if there's nothing else, I will—"

Muffled shrieks and cries burst out from the bridge. Picard set his tea down and the two officers strode for the sliding doors – only to find themselves floating into the air the moment they crossed the threshold.

"What the devil is going on here!" the captain demanded, tugging at the hem of his tunic as he struggled to maintain a dignified posture in zero gravity.

"We don't know, sir," a rather frazzled lieutenant reported, grasping the ops chair for leverage as she struggled to read the display screens. "It seems only the bridge has been affected, but computer diagnostics show all environmental controls are functioning normally. The gravity should be working. I don't understand—"

The captain slapped his combadge.

"Picard to Engineering!"

The whooshing sounds of the wind and sea met his ears, overlaid with marine bells and crying gulls.

Picard tried again, then again to get through, each time getting a different set of sound effects. A dripping rainforest. The whistles, clicks and clacks of a colony of Rigelian mountain cats…

"Enough of this. Q!" he shouted, raising his eyes toward the ceiling. "Q, if you're behind this, I demand you—"

"No! _Not_ Q," came a harsh, familiar voice. "Mxyzptlk!"

"Mixyez…what?" Riker squinted.

The little man in the dapper purple suit appeared with a pop, bobbing in the air between the angry captain and his befuddled first officer and looking particularly smug.

"_Mx-yz-pt-lk_," the imp sounded out, stretching the name for Riker's benefit. Smirking at Picard, he pointed a thumb a Riker and said, "Not too quick on the draw, this one, is he. I can see why you picked him to be your number two. It's easier to look brilliant when your lackey's two cents shy of a quarter."

"All right, just who the hell are you and what are you doing on this ship," Riker demanded. He tried to draw himself up, but that's a tricky move in zero gravity. He had to catch his foot on his chair to keep himself from spinning.

Mxyzptlk snorted.

"Surely you've heard of imps," he said. "Genies, leprechauns, faeries…"

"Are you telling us that's what you are?" Picard said warily.

"Hey, every tall tale's gotta sprout from at least one seed of truth or no one would pay attention!" the little imp said. "But you guys seem a bit past the genie stage, what with your fancy spaceship and all. Just think of me as a super-superior being from the 5th Dimension."

Picard set his jaw.

"So…what are you saying," Riker said. "_You're_ the inspiration behind all those fairy tales and myths? Don't tell me you've come to grant us three wishes."

"Nah, that granting wishes gag was fun for a few centuries, but it gets pretty old popping in and out of bottles and rings and lamps and other trinkets you humans so carelessly leave lying around. I came to find McGurk."

"Who is McGurk?" Picard asked.

"What's a MacGuffin?" the little man shot back. "Call it a device I use to get to where I want to go. No explanation needed. But now I've found the McGurk I've been looking for, I think this game's shaping up to be a lot of fun!"

"Is that what this is? A game?" Riker said, and shook his head in exasperation. "Where have I heard this before…"

"And if we choose not to participate in this…game?" Picard said.

"Oh, you'll participate," Mxyzptlk said, his gaze turning sharp. "You'll participate or I'll change every molecule of breathable air on this ship into itty-bitty-teeny shards of glass."

"You wouldn't," the young lieutenant gasped, and instantly covered her mouth.

Mxyzptlk regarded her.

"OK. So, I wouldn't," he said. "But I could do something just as nasty and even more creative if you all don't play along."

"If this is to be…a game," Picard said grimly. "Then, there must be rules."

"Gah!" The little man rose toward the ceiling with his hands in the air. "What is it with these rules! All the time with you guys it's rules, whether it's Superman or you or that ungrateful miller's brat, I don't know…"

He sank back down to Picard's eye level and placed his hands on his hips.

"OK, Cap, you want rules, here's the rules," he said. "You get me to say, spell, draw, skywrite or otherwise display my name backwards three times – in a row! It's gotta be three in a row. No breaks or insertions. Do that, and I'll go. Poof! It'll be as if you never even heard of me. But if you don't, it's playtime here on this ship for as long as I want. Basically, until I get bored and decide to go. So, do we have a deal?"

"Hold on," Riker said. "I can barely say your name forwards! How are we supposed to get you to say it backwards three times?"

"That's not my problem. Well, Picard? Whaddaya say?"

Picard clenched his teeth and turned his gaze to the stars streaking past on the viewscreen.

"If this is the only way to get you to leave this ship, then it seems we don't have much choice," he ground out.

"Then, it's a deal, Cap," the little imp said, pumping Picard's hand. Turning his head, he shouted, "Hey, McGurk! Look's like we're on, baby! Let the game begin!"

The little man vanished, and the floating bridge officers fell to the carpeted floor with various startled grunts and moans. Picard picked himself up and glared at his first officer.

"Find Mr. Data and Mr. La Forge," he ordered. "We need a plan to get that being off this ship _now_, before this 'game' of his can go too far."

_To Be Continued…_

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_References Include - TNG: Hide and Q; Superman: The Animated Series - Mxyzpixilated.  
_

More of Mxy's madness will be coming up soon. Let me know what you think so far! Please review! :D


	6. Part V

Part V

"So, what does this mean?" Picard asked, frowning at Data and Geordi over his Ready Room desk. "Are you saying the _Enterprise_ computer has, somehow, become self-aware?"

Geordi uncomfortably shrugged his eyebrows. "I wouldn't go that far—"

"I think it is plausible to assume that is the case, sir," Data spoke over his friend.

"Data…" Geordi started, but the android stayed firm, his golden gaze fixed steadily on the captain.

"Admittedly, this development may be an aspect of the imp Mxyzptlk's influence and, as such, is likely to be temporary," Data said. "But, Commander La Forge and I did witness the computer express first discomfort then pleasure when—"

"Lt. Riley to Captain Picard."

The captain and his officers gave a concerned start at the unexpected voice on the comm. Riley was a junior security officer under Lt. Worf. If he was contacting the captain directly, it could indicate a breakdown in the chain of command.

"Picard here," the captain responded. "Report, Lieutenant."

"Apologies, Captain. I wasn't sure who to contact," the young man stammered. Wherever he was, strange squawking, thrumming grunts mingled with high, trilling squeaks in the background. "I-I tried, but I can't seem to get Lt. Worf on—"

"Calm down, Lieutenant. It's all right," Picard said in a commanding, though reassuring tone. "Just tell me what is happening. Where are you right now?"

"I'm…um, Deck 32, sir, living quarters," he said. "Several civilians have been putting in calls. Sir, there's a…a very large bird loose in the corridors here. Very angry. There are smaller birds with it – I think, maybe it's protecting its young? If those are the circumstances, I don't know…should I fire? I wouldn't want to harm—"

The captain narrowed his eyes in a scowl. "Mxyzptlk," he rumbled.

"You called?" The grinning imp popped into existence like a thought bubble over the captain's head. Data raised his eyebrows, his head tilted slightly in fascination.

Picard stood up, glaring daggers at the dapper little man.

"If you must play these games, play them with me," Picard snapped. "I will not have you terrorizing my crew with your nonsense!"

"Nonsense?" The little man pretended to look taken aback. "I would have thought a cultured specimen such as yourself would have some respect for the theatre of the absurd. After all, aren't all you 3rd Dimension mortals supposed to be hanging around 'Waiting for Godot'?"

Picard ran his palm over his face. "As if I don't get enough of this from Q!" he muttered.

"Q…Q…?" Mxyzptlk tapped his bulbous forehead with his finger. "Ah, Q! That's the vandal with the highlighter who scribbled notes all around the margins of the Travelers' Guide! How did that lout describe this particular reality plane…? Oh yes! Mostly harmless." The imp snorted. "That's a laugh. You guys seem completely harmless to me. Maybe he meant 'hopeless.'" He laughed mockingly, tilting his head back and holding his stomach.

Picard closed his eyes and fisted his hands, clearly fighting to reign in his temper. The little man watched his face closely, smiling wickedly.

"You know what?" the imp said, floating near the ceiling. "You're fun! I think I might lay off your security chumps for a while and spend some time with you. At least until you figure out a way to make me head back home. Which you won't. 'Cause you can't!"

"What do you mean?" Data asked curiously.

"Oh, right. You two weren't there when the Cap and I laid out the rules," Mxyzptlk said, glancing at Data and Geordi. "Well, it's all very complicated, but to boil it down in a way you lower dimensional primitives can comprehend, if you want me offa this ship of yours, you gotta get me to say, spell, draw or otherwise represent my name backwards. Three times. In a row!"

Geordi frowned and folded his arms. "I'd like to hear him say it forwards."

"Seriously, people, it's not that hard," the imp said. "It sounds just like it's spelled!"

"Mxyzptlk," Picard pronounced, an undercurrent of warning in his voice.

The little imp beamed. "Not bad, baldy! Now say it three times fast!"

Picard clenched his jaw.

Data seemed confused.

"Mx-yz-pt-lk," he repeated. "Then, pronounced backwards, it would be…" He glanced up at the imp. "Kilti-pill-zem?"

"What?" The imp scoffed. "And you're supposed to be the one with the positronic brain. It's Kltpzyxm."

"Kilt-pez-tip-zem?" Data earnestly tried again.

The little imp's pale face turned bright red and he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Kltpzyxm! _Kltpzyxm!_" he bellowed, waving his arms in frustration. "_Sheesh_, what a maroon! Can't you even— Uh oh… Oh, shi—"

Before their startled eyes, the angry imp seemed to stretch and vanish as if he'd been sucked out of reality by an industrial vacuum cleaner. The captain straightened in relief, then turned his pleased gaze to his officers.

"Well done, Mr. Data," he praised. "Let's hope he won't be back. Now, regarding the computer, I want a full—"

"Captain, Lt. Riley again," the security officer's voice broke in. "I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but I thought you ought to know…"

"Go ahead, Mr. Riley," the Picard said.

"It's those birds, Captain," Riley said. "If it hadn't seen it, well…"

"Report, Lieutenant," Picard prompted.

"Oh, uh, yes sir. Captain, those birds I was telling you about… They weren't birds, sir. They were Lt. Worf and, well, maybe he should—"

"Captain," came Worf's gruff, irritated voice. "My security team and I are fine. I am returning to the bridge. Recommend we go to yellow alert until we locate and capture the hostile—"

"Mr. Data has already dispatched our little friend back to the dimension he came from," Picard told the irate Klingon. "Although, I would be willing to review any contingency plans you might come up with, should he return."

"Understood, Captain. Worf out."

Geordi regarded the captain. "Do you really think he's gone, sir?"

Picard sighed deeply. "As with Q, I'm afraid we can't truly be certain of anything," he said. "But we should not allow Mr. Mxyzptlk to keep us from our mission. I think, for now, we should concentrate on…" He frowned and moved closer to his desk, where his delicate ancient Ujjaerian statue shimmered like a rainbow.

"Mr. Data," he said. "Was this statue here when you and Mr. La Forge came in?"

"It was, Captain," the android confirmed.

Picard frowned. "Strange," he said, reaching out to carefully lift the little statue into his hands. "I didn't bring it here. Do you suppose—"

"Captain!" Data and Geordi both exclaimed, Data blinking and Geordi checking his VISOR to make sure their vision hadn't momentarily cut out.

"He's gone," Geordi said, moving from one side of the desk to the other as if to confirm. "And so's that statue!"

Data slapped his combadge. "Data to Commander Riker: Report to the bridge," he said, already striding through the Ready Room doors to take a seat at his ops station. "I will begin a scan," he told Geordi. "It is possible the captain is still aboard."

"I wouldn't bet on that, Data," Geordi said. "That imp was genuinely angry when you tricked him into saying his name like that. If he did abduct the captain…" He glanced at his friend with concern. "You might be next."

_To Be Continued…_

* * *

_References include -__ Superman: The Animated Series - Mxyzpixilated; TNG: Emergence; Hide and Q; TOS: The Naked Time; Looney Tunes; Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.  
_

Deadlines and foraging for family groceries during a state-wide stay-at-home order and figuring out how distance teaching works - oh my! I keep feeling like I should re-read _The Decameron_. Or maybe write an updated kidlit version: 100 tales about the fears and anxieties of social distancing during a global pandemic! I don't know. Well, anyway, I did my best to have an update ready for this story by April Fools' Day, but I just couldn't make it. But Mxy's not done with the _Enterprise _yet! There's even more weirdness still to come so Stay Safe, Stay Tuned, and Please Review! :D

In-Progress Stories Update List: Next in Line - _Mind The Gap_. Then, _Croaked_. Thanks so much for your comments and nudges!


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